Sunday, March 22, 2015

Good or Bad ?

I have a dream, I have an ambition. As a man of ambition I had to sacrifice a lot of things in order to achieve my dream. For the last 24 years I've been sacrificing my relationship and all the fun that usually teenagers did. Kinda regreting it a little, but I know that I did the right thing. Even though my dream were still nowhere closer.

I came from a very ordinary household with an "enough" economical situation. It's a tough start to begin with and my ambition aren't an ordinary ambition. I've seen a lot of people with a tougher situation than me but became a great person later. I can say that I'm grateful.

The only problem that I can't seems to shake off from my mind is that I often made judgement base on emotion, which is not a good trait of a great achiever. One reason why I tried to avoid relationship was because of this too. When I get close to someone my mind often got clouded and my decisions are biased. I can alter my way just to be able to be with the person I love.

Well, if it's a mutual preference and if the partner can build the dream together then I might be okay with it, but often relationship and ambition can't work well together. So I lay waste to my dream and ambition only to be with person who are not priotizing us. Now I made a promise to myself that I will not take decisions base on people anymore. Never! (well okay, I tried) It's hard to change a habit, especially when you are build that way. (emotionally sensitive guy, damn. what kind of man I am ? It's against nature!)

A close friend of mine once said that I can be a great lover. But I don't want to be a great lover (yet). At least not until I get what I want and find who I want to be with for the rest of my life.
"Being too attached to someone in early stage is a relationship killer." - Relationship advice 101

P.S. are you the one ?